Whether you are enjoying tea with a friend or have decided to have a tea party, its good to know how to serve a cup of tea. Don’t be intimidated on how formal this may seem – its really just guidelines. You want your teatime to reflect your personality and comfort with everything. Have fun with it and remember, this is about serving one another, which is the best gift you can offer your guest(s).
Types of Teatimes
Here are the 4 types of tea settings. Not obligatory for your teatime, but good information to know:
- Afternoon Tea / Low Tea – This tea is generally in a living room area and is served off a lower table, like a coffee table. A bit more casual but not sloppy relaxed. Full menu is served here – savories, scones and sweets.
- High Tea – Most of us refer to Afternoon Tea when we are really talking about High Tea. This is a tea that is set at a dining room table and has formality to it. Full menu here….mmmmm.
- Cream Tea – This tea is a simple tea where scones and clotted cream are served. No full menu like what is found with the Afternoon Tea or High Tea.
- Royale Tea – This tea is when champagne or sherry is served during the tea. Many of my group teas would be classified as Royale Teas because I serve a champagne cocktail.
Setting it all up
- The Table – Have fun with this. Make it special for your guests, even if its just between you and a friend. I will frequently pull out a tray and have a few scones on a pretty plate. Definitely have some flowers to enjoy. If its just between a friend and myself, I like to let them choose their teacup from my selection. But the table sets the stage for your teatime.
- What do you need to have –
- Table
- Table cloth
- Napkins
- Utensils – forks, spreaders / knives, spoons
- Dishes – will depend on which type of tea you are giving.
- Teapot, cups and plates
Serving the cup
- Use your teapot. And if you are wanting to do a traditional English Tea, use loose leaf tea. The teapot is always brought to the table. Once poured, you can leave the teapot at the table and covered with a cozy to keep that tea hot.
- Tea is always served first. Followed by the treats and deliciousness. Serving the guest of honor first or hostess, you lift the cup and saucer and pour into the cup, filling only 3/4th of the way.
- Once the tea is poured, you can offer sugar or milk or lemon. I usually let my guests do that for themselves.
- The tea is poured first, then sugar followed by milk if desired.
- If using lemon, the tea is poured first and then a very thin slice of lemon is placed in the cup. The lemon is great with most black teas. The slice is removed from the cup prior to drinking or refilling.
Tea Party Guidelines
If you are having a party, there are some steps that will help you be successful. These were highlighted in a previous post on “How To Have A Valentine’s Day Tea Party” . Here’s the link……https://teastheseason3.com/how-to-have-a-valentines-tea-party/
Along with this is a Tea Party Planning Toolkit….here for your use.
Tidbits of Fun Knowledge
Here are some general pieces of information that will be helpful and are kind of interesting. Many of these were designed years ago and have become tradition, handed down through the generations.
- No pinkies please. Let’s address the “pinkies up” myth. This is actually not true and is not felt to be appropriate. The history shares that early teacups did not have handles and holding the hot cups of tea was difficult. It was easier to hold with your thumb and the first two fingers, using the pinkies to help stabilize the hot cup. But now – no pinkies necessary.
- Your spoon is never left in your cup. It should be placed at the 4:00 position on the saucer.
- When using your spoon, gently stir but never clink. I have a relative who loves to “clink” and though I dearly love him, I can’t resist teasing him about his clinking habit.
- No swirling of the cup to stir you tea.
- No holding of the cup with one hand while not using the handle. You know, that whole handed grip approach.
- If your guests run out of tea, just request that they tip the lid of the pot and it will signal to you that their pot is empty and would like more tea.
- When the tea is finished, the hostess can take her (his) napkin and place it on their plate. This signals that the tea is done. If I am working with a hostess, we will give warm towels to freshen the guests and a parting gift for coming to the tea. This also signals that the tea is coming to a close.
So Why All The Fuss?
You may be saying to yourself that this seems like a lot of fuss for a cup of tea. And for some, that may be true. Historically, many of these practices were for a reason. Now, as tradition, for me this is really another form of ministering to one another. Whether serving a friend or a small group or even a large garden party, it is important for every person to feel special and lavished during their tea time. Its a moment that you can shut out the world, relax with friends and have conversation. Its not about the ceremony as much as it is about the heart. “May I serve you your tea?”
Tea beckons us to enjoy quality time with friends and loved ones, and especially to rediscover the art of relaxed conversation.
Dorothea Johnson
50 Comments
Barbara
Great info. Funny about the “traditions” that have developed over the years. Love the your
emphasis is on providing a time for friends to have a moment out of time!
Beth
Hi Barbara – Glad that you enjoyed the post. Yes, the traditions were evidently based in health traditions. I didn’t go much further! Thanks for your comment. Tea time is the best for sure.
Alyssa
Great tips! Your tablescapes are beautiful!!
Beth
Hi Alyssa – Thanks so much. I do love my china. Glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment.
Maggie
This looks like so much fun and such a necessary ritual! I would love to attend high tea with a hat, scarf, pearls and gloves!
Beth
Hi Maggie – Glad that you enjoyed the post. I do these things for high tea but also for just simply having tea with a friend. But the high tea experience is very fun. Thanks for your comment.
Laurie Janssen
HAHA! Luv the comment about the “clinker”! Your advice is fun & helpful, luv your pictures. L
Beth
Hi Laurie – I know you know all about this stuff. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment.
Linda Egeler
I had no idea there are so many types of tea parties. I think my favorite would be a Cream Tea: I love tea and scones!
Beth
Hi Linda – Yes but don’t be bogged down by that. Cream Teas are delightful. Just a light moment of tea and scones. Glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment.
Leeandra
I had no clue that the pinkies up was because of the teacups not having handles.
Beth
Hi Leeandra – I know, interesting tidbits of knowledge. Well evidently in the 17th century, some gentleman asked to have a handle put on a cup so his daughter would not burn her fingers. Not sure if that is myth or not. But interesting. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thank for your comment.
Holly
Beth, you share so many amazing tips and advice for making a tea a wonderful experience for everyone that attends! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and love for tea!
Beth
Hi Holly – Glad that you enjoyed the post and thanks for your comment.
Sabrina DeWalt
I never realized how much goes into tea service. Thanks for the lesson. I absolutely love seeing the photos of your gorgeous china.
Beth
Hi Sabrina – Thanks so much for your comment on the photos. It is fun to mix and match for sure. Well once you are into the habit, its not difficult at all. Glad that you enjoyed the post.
Alexis Farmer
No pinky up?! Lol. Great read and beautiful pictures, taught me a lot about tea and how to serve.
Beth
Hi Alexis – I know, who knew right? Well not that its going to change the direction of the earth but fun to learn the history behind habits and all. Glad that you enjoyed the post – and thank you for your comments.
Lisa Manderino
I love all the tradition! I think it is so special to keep those alive!
Beth
Hi Lisa – Thanks so much. I do to and I love to pass them on. Appreciate your comment and glad that you enjoyed the post.
Tricia Snow
This looks amazing and I learned so much. I had no idea there were so many different styles of teas you can have. I definitely want to try a high tea soon.
Beth
Hi Tricia – So glad that you enjoyed the post. Well high tea is fun, but doing some of the traditions with just a few friends is just as special. Its been fun to learn about it all these years. Thanks for your comment.
heather J jandrue
I really would love to have a tea party. A Royal tea is right up my alley. LOL. Thanks for sharing. I wish my nana was still here to share in these posts with me. She is the one that turned me on to tea.
Beth
Hi Heather – Yes, I am craving a tea party as well. And like I said, many of my teas are Royal just because I like to pamper my guests. What a sweet memory to have of your nana – thank you for sharing that. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thanks so much for your comment.
kate
This is cool information. I have a little girl and it would be fun to have a tea party with her.
Beth
Hi Kate – I have sisters, daughters, and grand-daughters and I have tea with all of them. I have my childhood tea set as well as my daughter has her’s. Passing it down. Your little girl would love this and it doesn’t need to be too difficult. I had an earlier post on How To Have Little Girls Cocoa Tea. I’ve included the link for you and it also has toolkits for you to use. https://teastheseason3.com/planning-a-little-girls-cocoa-tea-party/. Let me know if you have questions! Thanks for your comment and glad that you enjoyed the post.
Chelsea
I love this! Such a great idea for a post. I love tea so much, for my bachelorette party we actually did a tea at a fancy tea house in my area. It was so fun to be served properly and have the tasty treats to go along with it. And your comment about “clinking” cracks me up. I think my husband would agree with you. 😉
Beth
Hi Chelsea – Thanks so much for your comment. What a delightful memory for sure. I have had several bridal teas and they are delightful to do. Yes – clinking has been a sweet memory for sure. So glad that you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment!
Charlene Hartley
The clinking drives me crazy, too. And it leaves marks in the cups over time.
Beth
Hi Charlene – I know my clinker very well and just look them deeply in their eyes and then just chuckle. It has tempered over the years but losing it completely wouldn’t be right! Thanks for your comment.
Sara
I had heard that pinkies up was not the proper way to drink tea, but I thought it had something to do with the upper class versus lower classes.
Beth
Hi Sara – No, the whole pinkie thing seemed to have early practical origin but then no longer necessary. Interesting information. Thanks for your comment!
Cas
My son loves to have tea parties with me most days. I’ll have to talk about this post with him so we can practice your suggestions!
Beth
Hi Cas – How neat that your son like to have tea with you. This would be a fun sharing. Yes, suggestions for sure. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thanks for your comment.
Danielle Ardizzone
This is really interesting! I think my favorite would be a Royale Tea 😉
Beth
Hi Danielle – Mine too! As I said in the post, many of mine are as I offer it to the hostess and she says “yes”. Its that nice little treat. And the help in the kitchen must taste! Glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment.
Marianne
I had to laugh about the pinkies up! Ha! I learned so much from this post! Italians aren’t more coffee drinkers (as was my German half), so I had no idea about some of the nuances in serving tea!
Beth
Hi Marianne – I know, it has been fun to understand the traditions. Free information and kind of like respecting a culture’s tradition. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment.
Cindy Mailhot
I miss my favorite tea house where we used to sip tea and learn a lot tea parties.
Beth
Hi Cindy – I do too. I miss having groups of folks to my home and just enjoying the moment. So I try to bring you guys a little tea room teasers every now and then. Hope to be back at them soon. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thank you for your comment.
Suzan | It's My Sustainable Life
The ritual of a proper tea certainly makes the tea all that more enjoyable!
Beth
Hi Suzan – I think so. Seems respectful of a cultural tradition and is kind of fun and interesting to me. I don’t become so rigid that its awkward or uncomfortable for folks, but hopefully it helps them to enjoy it more. Thanks for your comment.
Amy
Royals tea sounds like the best tea time for me. I’ll skip the tea and stick with the champagne.
Beth
Hi Amy – Sounds like a plan. Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for your comment.
Amy
Royale tea time sounds like the best tea time for me. I’ll skip the tea though and stick with the champagne.
Beth
Hi Amy – Glad that you enjoyed the post. Thanks for your comment.
Cindy
This is wonderful info! I fell in love with tea time after visiting Scotland in 2014. I’ve learned about serving and enjoying tea from my experiences in Scotland and England and from English friends. This post is a great resource.
Beth
Hi Cindy – Thank you so much for your comment. A compliment coming from someone who has been to the “land of original traditions”. I have never been there but am sure that its wonderful. Glad that you enjoyed the post and thanks again.
Angela
What a lovely post about proper tea time. My daughter and I go at least once a year and sure miss it, we need to do it at home since 2020 is the year of staying in!
Beth
Hi Angela – I know. I have missed hosting tea parties and going to tea rooms. Yes, do this at home at the least for you and your daughter. I have several posts and helps on putting a tea party together – so feel free to browse. Many include lists and tools to help. But more than anything, just have some tea. What a treasure that you and your daughter enjoy going. Thanks for sharing and appreciate your comment.